


Scars inside

by Der_Spatz



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Canon Divergence - Avengers (2012), Eating out, Feels, I tried okay?, Loki Needs a Hug, Lots of teeth, M/M, Mentions of Past Torture, Or is there?, Oral Sex, Possessive Thor, Protective Thor, Rimming, Scars, Thor makes it all better, Tiny bit of Angst, Worship, but there, i guess, less actual sex than you think, lots of intimacy, lots of licking and nibbling, scar kink, this came out WAY different than i thought, thor has a kink and his name is loki, thor is a happy provider of affection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-27 07:27:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17157809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Der_Spatz/pseuds/Der_Spatz
Summary: Written for the Thorki Secret Santa 2018.Finally, Thor released him, but he didn’t go far. Instead, those darkened blue eyes remained on him with a sharp focus. There was fire inside them, and Loki could feel that same fire spreading from his shoulder and lighting him up. Thor was looking at his body, but he wasn’t. He was… oh. Oh.The scars.Thor hadn’t seen his scars.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [risowator](https://archiveofourown.org/users/risowator/gifts).



> Secret Santa gift for risowator. You asked for scar kink and this is what came out of it. I really hope you like it :) This story is honestly nothing like I had planned, but in the end I'm glad it turned out like this. Have fun!

“You come home”, pleaded Thor, earnest Thor, honest, naïve Thor, and he made it sound so easy, so simple. And Loki wanted to, oh how he wanted to, he wanted it so much he could feel the kid he had once been screaming and tearing at his insides, yearning for those arms, that wonderful warmth he could feel in his neck, begging him to say yes, to let himself rest and be loved again, because Thor felt _safe_ and _right,_ and _perfect._

“He would find me at home, too”, he wanted to say, and his scars throbbed and burned. “Please, help me”, the kid screamed inside. “Please, brother, I’m scared”.

Instead, he tore himself from that warmth, that golden sun, and snarled at his face. And then those worthless mortals came and took the tentation away, and the kid just curled up and cried silently while the man continued to destroy himself.

 

______________________________________________________

 

“Look at this! Look at this madness!”, shouted Thor, beautiful Thor, stubborn, desperate Thor. And for a moment, just a single moment, Loki looked and _saw._ He saw death, chaos and destruction, screams and desolation, smoke and rubble and ashes. And the scars throbbed and burned, and the kid cried, and Loki was broken, so broken, and he just wanted to go home, he wanted his mom and his big brother and a big warm bed and he wanted to feel _safe_ but he’ll find me, he’ll find me, please, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, help me, please, _please_ , I’m sorry _,_ I’m sorry, _I’m so…_

 

And then, like the unstoppable flow of fate itself, he was crashing and sobbing in Thor’s arms, and a dagger he didn’t recall grabbing was clattering on the floor, and there was a voice growling fiercely “...whoever you are scared of, whoever comes for you, I will crush their heads and tear their insides out and turn them into dust before they lay a finger on you, baby brother. Stop this madness and come home, and I swear on my blood and bones I’ll build a fortress around you and defend it ‘till the stars burn out and the universe dies. You _come home_ ”.

 

The scars throbbed.

His whole being _ached._

The kid stopped crying and muttered a single word.

“Yes”

 

___________________________________________________

 

The so-called “Avengers” didn’t like it. Thor didn’t care. Loki just held on while his brother bared his teeth at the others, feeling a perverse sort of glee at Thor’s ferocity directed to his allies, defending _him._ He, who was scum and dirt and pain, put above every puny midgardian “friend” his brother had made. Above his loyalty to them. At last things felt right in their wrongness.

 

Loki closed the portal.

The chitauri dropped dead.

Thor didn’t let go the whole time.

 

__________________________________________________________

 

“I can’t go home”, whispered Loki, damaged Loki, scared, broken Loki “Father will put me in chains and parade me around Asgard, and then he’ll throw me in a cell to rot.” _Not that I’ll live much longer after that._

 

“That won’t happen” Thor’s whisper was firm as he tightened his hold on him. They were laying in the dark, side by side, on the floor of another Hulk-proof prison. A white room inside the Tower, the only way the Avengers had grudgingly accepted Loki under their roof for the night. Thor’s only condition was to stay with him.

 

The room was initially bare, but the Captain had insisted they got some cushions and blankets to lay on. Such righteousness. Loki almost felt bad for him, all bright-eyed and filled with such pure intent. Another dumb, earnest, naïve blond.

 

“That won’t happen”, repeated Thor. “I won’t let him. He will have to throw me in a cell with you.”

 

“You know he will if it comes to that.”

 

“I don’t care. We’ll elope to the forest and I’ll build us a home and I’ll braid your hair and put flowers in it, like I did when we were children. Mother will visit us every day and father can keep his golden throne and his eternal scowl forever if he so desires.”

 

For a moment, Loki was silent. His cheek was pillowed in Thor’s firm chest, and he could only hear the beats of his heart, like a war drum. Or a lullaby.

“Why are you so eager to forget what I’ve done?”

 

“I’m not forgetting anything. I’m not even sure if I’m forgiving, not so soon. I certainly don’t forgive myself. I’m just loving you, like I’ve always done. I’m just… happy.”

 

“Why?”

 

Thor’s lips brushed his ear as he responded, and he shivered.

 

“You said yes.”

 

_____________________________________________

 

It was impossible to know how much time had passed. Hours, maybe. Probably just minutes. Eons, listening to that low drum under his ear, the flow of blood and air and life.

 

“I got you back. I got my baby brother back.” That whisper, that raw emotion wasn’t meant to his ears, but he heard it anyways.

 

The scars throbbed.

 

_____________________________________________

They didn’t use the Tesseract to return home. Odin would know the second its power was released again, and he would surely be waiting with chains and guards. Instead, Thor grasped Loki’s hand in his, took the Tesseract container in the other and said his goodbyes. The rest of the Avengers seemed slightly less murderous towards him, but not by far. Rogers was the only one who smiled at Thor and hugged him. Loki didn’t spare them more thoughts. He just wanted to go home.

 

Finally, Thor called for Heimdall and they were off.

 

______________________________________________

Loki zoned out. He didn’t pay attention to Thor and Heimdall’s hushed conversation, he didn’t remember their walking through the secret path he himself had shown Thor a lifetime ago, he didn’t recall slipping inside the palace and entering one of the many empty guest rooms, secluded at the end of a labyrinth of corridors and galleries. When he came back to himself, they were laying on a plush carpet in a similar fashion to that of last night, and Thor’s fingers carded gently through his hair, greasy and dirty as it was.

 

“Will you wash me?”, someone said with a needy, low voice, barely more than a whisper. Then Thor muttered a warm “yes” and Loki realized it had been him. Whatever, he was too broken to feel shame. To feel anything, really. He didn’t even feel the kid anymore. He only felt the scars.

 

“...ki? Loki? Do you want mother instead?”

 

Loki thought about it. Mother, with her cool, soft hands and silky voice, and shiny hair. Long, _clean,_ shiny hair. Clean hands, clean eyes.

 

“No” his voice was suddenly rough. “Not yet. Not ‘till I’m clean.” _I may never be. I may never have been._

 

“Alright. Let’s get you to the bath, brother.” Thor kissed his temple and took him to the adjacent room, a tiny private bath. Oh. So he could be thoughtful when he wanted to.

 

When Thor let go of his hand, Loki just stood there and let his brother peel off his clothes, one by one, until he was completely naked. What he didn’t expect was Thor shredding his own clothes after that. It made sense, though, he probably didn’t want to get them wet.

 

Loki just didn’t care. Some distant part of him was aware he wasn’t completely there, he wasn’t acting normal, but the kid was silent, and even the throbbing was duller now. It was easier to drift, not to feel. Water poured over him, big hands washing his body and his hair, and he was witnessing it like an actor outside of his own play. Slowly, he drifted further and further, and he wasn’t even sure he wanted to return. What for? He couldn’t even remember, he couldn’t even feel, and it was easier, so much easier...

 

Suddenly, teeth.

 

Teeth, sharp and strong, and one of his scars wasn’t throbbing, it was _flaming, burning,_ and the world was spiraling and focusing and the colors were _so much brighter._

 

Loki gasped and his hands found Thor’s biceps and held on with an iron grip. Thor growled, but he didn’t relax his jaw from where he was currently biting down on Loki’s left shoulder, specifically on one of his biggest scars, wide and irregular, which ran from the base of his neck to his elbow. Loki wanted to speak, to say something, anything, but his throat had closed up and he was suddenly _alive_ and aware of everything, and it was almost too much, too much…

 

Finally, Thor released him, but he didn’t go far. Instead, those darkened blue eyes remained on him with a sharp focus. There was fire inside them, and Loki could feel that same fire spreading from his shoulder and lighting him up. Thor was looking at his body, but he wasn’t. He was… oh. _Oh._

 

The scars.

 

Thor hadn’t seen his scars.

 

After what seemed like an eternity of torture, his body was a map of lines, cuts and tears. An intricate spider web from his neck downwards _(We don’t want to ruin that pretty face, don’t we?)._ Some of them were thin as a hair, others were rough and wide. He had them in all shapes and lengths. He didn’t even remember half of the instruments they had used to inflict pain on him, just that some of them were very… creative.

 

He was already used to his new skin. He had had time to learn all the roads of that twisted map.

 

But Thor hadn’t.

 

And he didn’t...

 

He didn’t seem disgusted.

 

“¿Thor?” he finally croaked, but he didn’t know what to ask. He…

 

“Baby brother” mumbled a voice like thunder itself, and then two huge hands were following every turn and twist of his map, every scar set aflame with touch, every fiber vibrating and humming “Baby. Baby brother. Strong, fierce, baby brother.”

 

And then Thor dropped to his knees.


	2. Two

There was a second where the universe stopped, everything stopped, life was put on hold as Loki held his breath and Thor was on his knees before him, not touching, not saying anything. This was a turning point, they both knew, and after this… a cliff. Thor was deciding if he was going to make them fall. 

 

Beat.

 

Beat.

 

Beat.

 

Thor leaned over and licked a long scar on his abdomen, slowly, reverently.

 

Loki closed his eyes and let himself take flight. 

 

_______________________________________________

“Come” said Thor in that same deep, thunderous tone of voice, and Loki didn’t think at all, he just followed him to the bedroom. Thor then took a long scarf from a hanger and looped it around one of the arms of the chandelier hanging from the center of the ceiling. Loki didn’t need further instruction, he just raised his arms, grasped the two ends of the scarf and held on. The scars were back to burning quietly, pulsing with anticipation, and the kid was back, watching with rapt attention. 

 

Thor didn’t go back to his knees, not right away . He came forward until his chest brushed Loki’s, and he could feel his heat radiating in waves. And then his mouth was on the side of his neck, licking and biting, following a road on the map unhurriedly, luxuring on the trip, catching the droplets of water still running through his skin. Shoulder, armpit, pec, nipple, then repeat on the other side. There were plenty of scars to go over, plenty of paths to wander on. Loki couldn’t close his eyes this time, he could only fight for his next breath and hold on for dear life. His skin was on flames, his mind was on flames, he was burning alive and he wasn’t complaining. Thor was behind him now, and he was having a feast, and as Loki tightened his hold on the scarf once more he realized exactly what his brother was doing having him in that posture, hanging from the ceiling at his mercy.

 

He was replacing the torture with this. He was traveling his body, conquering every path, valley and hill and making them  _ his _ . 

 

Stupid, earnest blond.

 

Stupid, so stupid. 

 

So very…

 

Thor lapped at his face and they both pretended they were just drops from the bath water. There were no scars there, but Thor seemed to follow an invisible path anyways, across his cheekbones, his chin, his temple, where he muttered a single “brother” that was more warm breath than sound. Loki’s eyelids fluttered and dropped, his mouth parted slightly, and suddenly there was a tongue licking his lips tenderly, slowly, careful teeth nibbling on them. Loki didn’t dare to breath.

 

Thor nuzzled his neck and moved downwards, little by little, alternating kitten licks, open-mouthed kisses and quick bites, and soon he was on his knees again, mouthing at the scars on his thighs like they were perfect, a golden treasure waiting to be found. Like  _ Loki  _ was perfect. And Loki felt… Loki…

 

Loki felt  _ worshiped _ .

 

He didn’t feel powerful or fearsome, tough. No, he felt more like a delicate vase about to shatter, held together only by warm, big hands and a soft tongue. He felt almost complete, almost whole again, and it hurt like hell.

 

He never wanted it to stop. 

 

He didn’t notice he was half hard until Thor’s hair brushed his cock when he shifted his attention to his other leg. Uh. So that still worked. Loki hadn’t really thought about it since… everything. 

 

Thor didn’t pay it any attention for now, so Loki ignored it as well. The fire that spreaded with every inch his brother’s mouth covered was way more important, way more consuming. Thor stopped for a second and looked at him with such raw emotion in his eyes, Loki had to close his or he would really shatter and there would be nothing left of him. 

 

Then Thor circled him and bit down on a round scar on his left cheek, soft but unyielding. 

 

A sob tore out of Loki and he blinked, startled at himself. 

 

Thor didn’t comment. He kissed the scar again and again and moved on to the other ones on his cheeks, lavishing them with loving attention. Loki let his head fall forward and focused on breathing. 

 

And then Thor spread him and breathed over his hole, and this time Loki knew the sob was coming and he didn’t even try to stop it. 

 

“Loki” It was a question.

 

He didn’t have to think.

 

“Yes”

______________________________________________

Loki was a tiny point of light in the blackness of the universe. Loki was a single nerve, vibrating and pulsing. Loki was feeling, and fire, and  _ life.  _

 

Thor hummed as he licked inside him, as he nipped at his entrance and stabbed him with his tongue, again and again and again.  _ Didn’t you conquer enough already?,  _ Loki wanted to say,  _ did you have to make me yours inside, too? Must you have everything? _

 

_ I already have everything,  _ said Thor’s hands on his hips, Thor’s breath on his skin, and Loki was the master of liars, but sometimes the truth spoke too loud to be masked.

 

So he just held on and whimpered, needy and pathetic, and Thor pulled back gently and shuffled on his knees until he was in front of him again, fingers spreading his cheeks, face resting on his thigh, inches from his cock. 

 

“Brother”, he rumbled, brushing at his hole with the rough pad of a finger “My brother. Look at me.” And then he breached him, slowly but relentlessly, and he let him in. Of course he did. He let him in, and looked him in the eyes, and didn’t dare look away, even when his knees shaked and the world trembled, even when a finger became two and then three, and he was being thoroughly fucked. He keened and whimpered and sobbed, and Thor looked at him like Loki was the sun. Stupid.  _ He _ was the sun, even kneeling before him, even worshiping him. He was the only sun Loki had ever known.

 

_ I remember a shadow. _

 

_ I remember a light so bright it hurt to look at. _

 

_ I remember wishing for it to burn out and die. _

 

_ I remember wishing to stand under it forever and let it consume me. _

 

_ Brother, my brother. Perfect, perfect, perfect. _

 

Thor opened his mouth and swallowed his cock. 

 

Loki screamed, but no sound came out. His knees bobbled violently, and Thor took hold of one thigh without pausing and put it over his shoulder. Then he did the same with the other and now Loki was sitting on his brother’s huge hands, cock all the way down his throat, fingers pumping in and out of his hole, hanging from the ceiling with all the strength he had left (it wasn’t much at this point).

 

He couldn’t  _ think. _

 

Thor swallowed rhythmically, eyelids fluttering like he was the one being pleasured. He didn’t even seem to need air to breathe, the bastard. Instead, Loki felt like _ he  _ was choking up. It was all too much, too much. It had started to be too much since Thor’s teeth first sinked on him and forced him to feel again, and now he felt  _ everything  _ and it was  _ too much  _ and he was gonna… he was…

 

Pain, he knew. It was a surprisingly easy thing to get used to, in time. He knew how to suppress a cry, he knew how to endure, he knew the familiar and welcome drifting off, the blackness that took it all away.

 

Pleasure was new, though. Pleasure spread like wildfire from the waist up, pleasure loosened his tongue and let his tears run free, pleasure came to him in waves, burning waves that left him no time to rest in between, no time to breathe. Pleasure was a warm, wet canal and thick, dexterous fingers. Pleasure was ruthless, raw and naked. Someone was crying “brother, brother, brother” with a broken voice and it sure as Hel wasn’t Thor, not with his lips stretched out around his shaft and a stuffed throat. 

 

Norns, but was he pathetic.

 

Then the pleasure started escalating, mounting, and suddenly Loki felt uneasiness coiling around his gut. Suddenly, he felt scared. He… it was… it was too much, he was gonna crash, he didn’t know how to, brother, please, help me, brother....

 

Thor pulled back and stilled his fingers, too. He looked at him, not with pity, but with so much love Loki didn’t know what to feel. 

 

“I got you, baby brother”, he mumbled, “I always got you.” Then he gathered Loki in his arms, helped him loosen his grasp on the scarf and laid him out gently on the bed. “I got you”, he repeated, and Loki felt himself take a breath and ease down a bit. Thor laid down beside him and took his still stiff cock in his hand, massaging it unhurriedly while he petted his hair with the other one. Then he started kissing his face, first his eyelids, then his brows, temple and cheekbones. Loki opened his mouth and Thor took the invite, kissing his lips deeply, making their tongues dance. This time, when the pleasure started to build up again, Loki grasped Thor’s bicep and looked at him with wide eyes, and Thor smiled reassuringly and kept kissing him. “I got you, let yourself go. I got you.” 

 

Loki shuddered and did, and the world exploded in white flames. 

 

____________________________________________

When he came back to himself, he was cuddled up in Thor’s arms, lips pressed up against his hairline again and again. He blinked slowly and looked down, where a mess of white ropes covered the scars on his abdomen. While he was looking, new ones added to the mix, and it took him a couple of seconds to notice the arm moving lazily next to his hip, huge cock in hand. Thor was marking him.  

Loki considered this and laid back down, pillowing his head on a firm chest. The arm around his shoulders pulled him closer, against that wonderful, terrible heat. 

 

The scars buzzed faintly.

 

The kid slept.

 

Loki closed his eyes and breathed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me halfway through this thing: goddamit will you PORN already?  
> Anyways, here you go. Hope you liked it, and please forgive any mistakes I could have had (beta? What is that?). Have a wonderful year, everyone, and as we say in Spain, hasta la próxima :)  
> \- Maria
> 
> My tumblr: der-spatz


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